Kitchen Politics versus Real Equality — Decisions at Home and Seats in Parliament

These days, sharp and engaging debates on feminism and women’s equality rage across social media, Twitter, and modern urban podcasts.

Often, the focal point of discussion is: “Why doesn’t the husband make the morning tea? Why should only the wife wash the dinner dishes? Whose responsibility is it to sweep and mop on Sundays?” Millions of likes and shares are showered on these debates, hailing them as remarkably modern, progressive, and revolutionary.

Undoubtedly, men should participate in domestic household labour, and work has no gender.

However, author N. Singh compels us to step out of this superficial ‘kitchen politics’ and confront a deeply uncomfortable and fundamental question: Does washing a few dishes or making a cup of tea grant a woman equal rights to men in society? Or are a woman’s real rights—such as property ownership, veto power in the major policy decisions of the family and society, and financial independence—being pushed to the background by entangling her in such symbolic and shallow debates?

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The Invisible Contribution of Domestic Labour versus Zero Property Rights

Data from the Economic Survey of India and the International Labour Organization (ILO) reveal that Indian women perform an average of 5 to 7 hours of unpaid domestic labour (Unpaid Care Work) daily, which finds no account in the country’s GDP. If a monetary valuation were put on this labour, it would run into trillions of dollars.

Yet, what does a woman receive in return?

1. Zero share in property: The Hindu Succession Act was amended in 2005 to make daughters equal claimants in ancestral property. Yet even today, more than 90% of sisters quietly sign away their land and houses in their brothers’ names simply so that their connection with their maika (maternal home) is not severed! Even today, 95% of the ownership of land and capital remains concentrated in the hands of men.
2. Lack of financial independence: Even for women who hold jobs and earn lakhs of rupees a month, their ATM cards and investment decisions are often still controlled by their husbands, fathers-in-law, or fathers. The woman remains merely an earning machine, not an autonomous, decision-making soul.
3. The dual character of Parliament versus the kitchen: A woman can enter Parliament and deliver a speech on the national budget, but when she returns home in the evening, it is still the male head of the family who decides where the money will be spent and which school the children will attend!

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Superficial ‘Kitchen Politics’ versus Real Fundamental Equality

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The Bitter Truth from the Book: N. Singh’s Philosophical Vision

Author N. Singh writes in the final chapter, ‘The Real Essence of Equality’, of his book ‘Ginti Se Satta Tak’ (From Headcount to Power):

“As long as a woman in any society does not get the right to become the owner of her own property, to live by her own choice, and an equal say in the family’s financial decisions, sitting on a parliamentary chair will remain nothing more than a superficial pretence. We turned the woman into a ‘goddess’ and seated her upon the temple pedestal so that we would not have to grant her the rights of an ordinary human being of flesh and blood! Worshipping a goddess is easy, because a goddess does not demand a share in the land; a goddess does not file a case against dowry violence; and a goddess does not raise her voice against the injustices of men. We do not need a goddess; we need an equal citizen!”
— N. Singh (Ginti Se Satta Tak, pp. 188–189)

The author goes on to ask a poignant question:

“If a woman does not have an inch of land in her name, if she has no bank balance of her own, then even after passing laws in Parliament, she will remain subjugated in her own home. True equality will arrive only when, in the village khatauni (land-record register), beside every field, the name of the wife and daughter is recorded just as prominently as the man’s!”
— (Ginti Se Satta Tak, p. 192)

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Four Epoch-Making Steps for Real Equality

1. Mandatory and automatic registration of ancestral property: The registration of ancestral property in daughters’ names must be made mandatory, and a strict legal ban must be placed on agreements extracted under pressure in the name of a haq-tyag (relinquishment deed).
2. Economic valuation of domestic labour and joint accounts: A 50% legal share in every income and asset of the husband after marriage must be automatically registered in the wife’s name. All government and private property must be purchasable only under joint ownership.
3. Respect for freedom in decision-making: A woman’s autonomy in choosing marriage, career, motherhood, and lifestyle must be fully respected; the feudal mindset of saddling the woman alone with the burden of ‘family honour’ must come to an end.
4. Equal Pay for Equal Work: In the unorganised sector, agriculture, and construction work, women are paid 30% to 40% lower wages than men. Strict punitive action must be ensured against this crime.

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A Question Worth Pondering (The Book’s Message)

Will we continue to train our daughters merely to become the grihalakshmi (goddess of the household) of someone else’s home, or will we make them independent spirits who write the destiny of this country and society with their own hands?

To understand the true equality of men and women, the internal structure of the Indian family, and the profound philosophy of social justice, this concluding chapter of N. Singh’s acclaimed book ‘Ginti Se Satta Tak: Bharat Ka Ankaha Yuddh’ (From Headcount to Power: India’s Untold War) ought to be read by every man and woman sitting together.